Month 10 First CLOMID / IUI Cycle (December 2011)

Well we decided on moving forward with the clomid/ iui this month. If nothing is wrong with us maybe we have been timing it wrong some how, and hopefully this will work.
 Clomid (50mg was my dosage) is a medicine to make me "super ovulate" as they called it. They checked me through ultrasound about cycle day 3 when I was still on my period to make sure I didn't have any cysts, because if I did the clomid would make them grow. I was fine.. So I took it cycle days 5-9  to develop big follicles that have eggs in them. The clomid gave me cold clammy skin, hot/cold flashes, I would randomly see silver spots kind of like a small alien flash of light, ovary area on both sides felt swollen, my brain would randomly go blank when I was talking or thinking about something. This happened quite often. I didn't like this drug, but of course I just took it for the greater good.. 
 Then they did another ultrasound on cycle day 10 to see if the clomid did it's job. Only one 19mm follicle!? =/  Umm don't I make one on my own? I was hoping for maybe 2 or 3. O well at least they will know when its gonna drop. That's right they make it drop by having you give yourself a shot called ovidrel.  It's HCG hormone ( the pregnancy hormone the baby creates), so your body thinks its pregnant and it will then drop the egg out with in 24-36 hours. My hcg shot was 6,500iu's taken on cycle day 12. My mother in law gave it to me because we were on a trip together, and I was scared to do it myself. It was funny I kept telling her "WAIT NOT YET!!" Lol! I was so scared, and it was the tiniest needle ever. Finally she just did it. I was waiting to feel sick, but all I felt was about 10 minutes later my right kidney area got a burning cramp for a minute or two.. Then I went and laid down for bed. I awoke about an hour later with the CRAZIEST feeling ever!! I was warm all over my body and and super super HORNY. I popped my eyes open, and was thinking WHAT IN THE WORLD!!!! It was almost painfully horny. My husband was back home in another city, and I was with my mother in law and her sister in the house. That would just be weird to take care of it if you know what I mean ; ) So I just kinda giggled, and thought wow this is crazy just gonna have to try and ignore it.Then I went back to bed.

 Monday morning cycle day 13 I went in for the IUI also known as artificial insemination. I made them give me a valium since they were sticking a catheter into my cervix again. Which if you read how my HSG test went you can understand why I'm horrified of the pain involved with the cervix. I recommend you take at least half of one if you have to have anything done involving the cervix to numb it out!  Brandon came in a few hours prior to my appointment so he could give his "sample". They have a process they do with it in the lab where they wash all the seminal fluid out, separate the good strong sperm, and add in this creepy milky pink liquid for the sperm to swim in. So my dr came in and read the name on it and showed me. It was a small vial around the size of my pointer finger about half way full of the milky pink mixture. So I laid back put my legs in the stirrups, and the Dr went in with the catheter. It was weird because even though I had a valium  I felt it touch the top of my uterus. I screamed " EWW UGLY!!" Lol! Random thing to say guess I was trying not to cuss.. Two seconds later it was done.  the Dr told me to just lay there for 15 minutes then we are free to go. I asked Brandon if he used the movies or magazines earlier when he gave his sample. He laughed and said yes. Haha! 

Month 7 " Unexplained Infertility"

So that's it? NOTHING is wrong with either of us? Just bad luck?  They say really to wait a year before seeking help from a fertility doctor, so maybe we should just try on our own a bit longer? This is so annoying! I feel like if we keep doing what we have been doing then we will just keep getting the same result. =( I was really hoping they would say my hormones were off, or something small that they could fix, and then I would be pregnant a few weeks later. O well. Back to trying on our own for a few months... They told us we can do a Clomid/ Iui cycle if we want, but I was a bit scared to do that just yet if I didn't have to, so we are gonna try on our own for a while longer. =/

HSG (HYSTROSALPINGOGRAM) experience & results

Ok I read up on this test before I went in and the reviews and experiences scared me to death! I saw some women passed out, some threw up, some said the pain can be really scary. What they do is put a catheter in through the cervix then once in the uterus a little balloon sneaks out of the tip and is blown up in your uterus. The balloon is a bit bigger than a quarter, but I hear it feels the size of a brick. Then they inject dye to see if your uterus fills up and the dye spills into the tubes and ovaries. You can see the process on the screen as they inject the dye.

So Brandon went with me in case I couldn't drive after, and for moral support of course. When it was my turn they tell me he can't some in due to the X-Ray machine =( GREAT!
The nurse was really sweet, and asked me if we were trying to get pregnant, and made small talk until the X-ray tech gets in. Wow he looks like he is 25 and for some reason he reminds me of a sleezy bar guy that creeps on women =/

                                          (Closest pic I could find to what he looked like)

 GREAT THIS GUY GETS TO DO THE SCARY TEST ON ME... I'm not feeling happy about this. So he gets me set up and takes a poke at the cervix and I scream OUCH!!! " Sorry your cervix is small just give me a second"  Ten minutes later and feeling like I just had 500 darts thrown at my cervix he says we are going to have to stop because its " Just too narrow" Omg! I have to have this test done!! Whats gonna happen? Is this why I'm not getting pregnant "Narrow cervix disease" Is that a thing? Lol! He tells me it happens sometimes and I'm just gonna have to reschedule and prior to trying this again I will have to first go to my fertility Dr and get dilated (preyed open) so it will fit.
I bled a little when I got home. Idiot guy I bet he didn't know what he was doing!

A few days later we are headed to try this again- So I go to my fertility Dr and ask him if my " Narrow cervix" is whats preventing me from getting pregnant. He said absolutely not you have a period blood comes out of it sperm are microscopic and can go through so don't worry...
 He attempts to dilate me and I scream BLOODY MURDER!!!! O HELLLLLLL NO!!! STOP-HAULT-NO- NO- NO!!!! He pulls away and asks if I need a valium. At that point I was crying and horrified. I felt so violated.. "What was that and why did it hurt so bad??" YES! I'VE NEVER DONE DRUGS BUT I'LL HIT THE CRACK PIPE RIGHT THIS SECOND IF IT GETS ME THROUGH THIS! Don't get me wrong I drink when I go out but always been scared of putting drugs into my body until that moment. So I took one ate some animal crackers and grape juice, and 20 minutes later I was on a cloud =) feeling so relaxed and cosy. Kind of like being drunk and happy but also numb everywhere. He dilated my cervix and I didn't even feel it! First he tried the really tiny catheter then the normal size that they would have at the X-Ray place. It went in! YAY! So I strolled out and Brandon drove me to the X-Ray place. A different older looking tech did the procedure thank god. I was really giggly and let them know I was feeling good and on Valium.  He put it in and I felt this numb painless pressure down there. I asked if it was in.. He said yes its blown up about to inject dye. I started crying and said "Omg thank god it went in im so happy!!" I was even happier that I was numb. He then told me to watch the screen, and as I did I saw the dye spill into the tubes then ovaries! All was good! I asked him if anything at all looks weird. He said " Well I see something in your left tube thats very tiny maybe a polyp, but the dye passed so it's not gonna cause a problem" Eww whats a polyp I thought.. O well whatever.. He said I'm good so I PASS YAY!!

Month 6 we get the results from the initial fertility testing

So my theory was WRONG Brandon's sperm count was at 125 MILLION!! It also had good motility and morphology. They say 20 million is good.. So yea he is a " Rock Star" as he called himself when he found out. All my blood work looked great also! I'm "A positive" blood type I have immunity to chicken pocks.. Estrogen/ progesterone look good my egg quality and count are good. So now it's time for the pelvic exam & ultrasound. Which also looks great we learn. Next up and last test the HSG..

Month 6 we meet with the fertility doctors for the first time

Prior to going to the actual office they had us each fill out a questionnaire online asking tons of personal questions. I thought wow they are really going to be investigating everything to find out whats wrong. How cool!
When we get to the doctors office, sign in and sit down I notice all most all the women in the room have nice wedding rings and designer bags ( including myself not gonna lie) I asked Brandon later if he noticed that , and why is it that women who want a baby , and are in the position to be able to provide a great life for one so often end up at the fertility doctor?! He then reminded me all kinds of women have fertility problems , but so many of them can't afford to come see a specialist so they just don't get help. O yea! I guess that makes sense! That's so sad though! =(

So we finally get called back, and Meet our two Doctors. They explain to us that we will be starting off with the initial round of testing including:
Semen analysis for Brandon
For me- pelvic exam, testing for estrogen levels, thyroid function, progesterone level, prolactin levels, androgen levels, and follicle stimulating hormone levels.  FSH (follicle stimulating hormone), TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) They also test blood type, immunity to diseases, and other random stuff I don't remember.. Also I would have to have a test called Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) to check and make sure my tubes were open.
Crazy!

So to recap... Checking to see if I have a good amount of eggs and see if they are good quality, see if I have a thyroid issue, if I ovulate, if my tubes are open, gonna look around in there to make sure everything looks ok with my ovaries, and uterus, make sure my hormones look good, if tubes are open and other random stuff.

YAY! I CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT THAT I'M GREAT AND WHAT WE CAN DO FOR BRANDON'S BAD SPERM. LOL!

Screw this we need to see a fertility doctor!!

Brandon, and I talked and decided we don't wanna wait  a year until we get checked to see if there is a problem. This is getting ridiculous already!  I assumed he had damaged his swimmers from using steroids back in college, and wanted to see what they could do about it if my theory was correct... I couldn't think of what else could be getting in the way. We are both healthy, never had std's, I have never had a surgery, he has never been injured in the privacy area. So I made us an appointment at the fertility center for the following week. LET'S DO THIS!!

Month 5 - Maybe trying with friends is not such a good idea

One of my best friends Julie had been married a little less than Brandon, and I to her husband who is Brandon's best friend since childhood. She had talked about trying soon, so I begged her to try with me this month. We went to stay the weekend with them, so I brought her an opk to pee on , and see if she was ovulating. From what it was looking like our cycles were just a couple days off. I got a positive opk on a Saturday and she got hers Monday I think it was might have been Sunday. I thought it was pretty cool we were only a day or 2 apart.. So we both covered our fertile window, and hoped for the best.. Two weekends later we had planned  a little mini get away. Us and the husbands  stayed at her grandpa's while he was out of town. I couldn't wait to see her and take test together. How cool would that be if we were both pregnant at the same time!
So on the drive there I stopped off at the gas station to pee, and realized I started my period  =( Booo!
The thought crossed my mind for the first time that what if she was pregnant, and I wasn't?? Yea I didn't think about that =/ but surely she couldn't be this was her first try..

So we get there settle in, and I remember telling her " Well the bad news is I started the good news is I can drink."  She had not tested yet so we went in the bathroom together, and she peed on the stick then said " Ohhh look its doing something!" She handed it to me and I watched the second line pop up. You have got to be kidding me!! All I could think was OMG THAT'S SO NOT FAIR she had only tried 1 month!! What did she do that I didn't that got her that positive? After about a minute of feeling sorry for myself secretly, I suddenly realized I was thinking selfish and needed to be excited for my friend. Because despite my personal sadness I really was so happy for her. We were both trying for the same thing, and its not her fault I wasn't pregnant. Next I thought O no Brandon is gonna be sad when he hears they are gonna have a baby, and we are not. I could see it in Brandon's eyes that he was disappointed in our situation when she showed her husband the test. Again you are happy for your friends, but there is still that jealous/ sad feeling of "why not me?"